Teens are in a sensitive stage of development characterized by raging hormones, self-identity exploration, and mood swings. During the teen years— rebellion, experimentation, and the challenge for independence increase. This can lead to conflict in relationships both in and outside the home. 

Equipping teens with the correct tools to resolve conflict, form connections, and manage healthy relationships is essential for their future. Teaching teens to positively resolve conflict can improve communication skills, academic success, relationships and build a healthy foundation for their adult lives. 

Understanding what teen conflict looks like, the impact it has on their mental health, and strategies to work through conflict is helpful for parents to be able to provide support during moments of tension. 

Understanding Conflict in Teens 

Sometimes conflict with teens is normal, and even healthy. As they become more independent and grow into their identities, they may become more likely to challenge perspectives, rules, and traditions. It’s normal for teens and their parents to disagree, sometimes escalating conflict in the home. 

Conflict may be influenced by what the relationship and circumstances surrounding that relationship are like. For example, parents with an already difficult relationship with their teens may experience more conflict. It also may be influenced by a lack of effective communication skills, personality clashes, or if the teen struggles with emotional or behavioral problems. 

Teens also struggle with conflict outside the home such as with peers or teachers. Peer conflict between teens is normal, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of their daily functioning or school success. Due to key regions of the teen brain still forming, they may be more reactive or likely to experience turbulent relationships. 

Causes of Conflict in Teens 

Research shows multiple causes can drive conflict in teens. Some factors that can increase the risk of teen conflict may include hormones, identity exploration, whether healthy relationships are modeled in the home and natural temperament. 

Common causes of conflict in teens include: 

• Opposition with authority figures
• Challenging rules or boundaries 
• Rejecting social norms or cultural traditions 
• School gossip or being a target of rumors
• Miscommunication
• Social status
• Cultural differences 
• Low self-esteem
• Incompatible values
• Underlying mental health disorders 

Impact of Conflict on Teen Mental Health  

The impact of unresolved conflict can take a toll on teen mental health. Conflict may be left unresolved due to a lack of resolution skills, inefficient communication, the inability to regulate emotions, or other circumstances. Long-term effects of unresolved conflict can include depression, anxiety, and increased stress levels. 

Conflict is one of the leading causes of mental health problems in teens. Family conflict and an unstable home can lead to severe behavioral problems. Peer conflict may cause academic decline, isolation, or negative self-esteem. 

Teens are in a delicate state of development and are more sensitive to the effects of peer or social rejection. Teaching teens to resolve conflict not only increases the quality of their relationships but improves their overall mental health and emotional wellness. 

Conflict Resolution Strategies 

Teaching teens to effectively manage conflict is essential for future success as they grow into adults. Conflict resolution can be used in school, the home, or workplace. Most conflict is rooted in miscommunication and disrespect. Teaching teens to respect boundaries, communicate effectively, and manage conflict responsibly is critical to their positive development. 

Compromise 

Teach teens how to compromise so they understand things may not always go 100% the way they want. This skill is essential for life as it teaches people how to make sacrifices and come to a middle ground. 

Collaboration

Collaboration encourages teens to see the perspective of the other person. It involves both parties to come together and discuss their ideas, opinions, and solutions to move forward. The goal of collaboration is to come to an agreement where both people feel heard, respected and ideally, is a “win-win” situation. 

Comunication

The art of communication is essential for teens to improve relationships, better their mental health, and increase long-term success. Effective communication can be a game-changer in resolving conflict. The key to conflict resolution is helping teens understand that it’s important to stay mindful of their words, tone and to actively listen to the other person.

Active Listening 

Sometimes what drives conflict is not only a lack of communication but a lack of listening. Teens can be stubborn and already have responses ready in their heads. Teach teens how to actively listen to another perspective by asking clarifying questions and summarizing what the other person has to say to ensure they are hearing them effectively. 

Outline the Conflict 

Teach teens how to identify what the conflict is, the causes, and possibilities for a solution. Many teens involved in conflict may not even clearly understand what they are fighting about. By having a clear purpose, they can come to quicker solutions and ways of compromise. 

Brainstorm Solutions 

Solution-oriented thinking helps teens focus on creating solutions that can make both parties involved in a conflict happy. It also teaches them that with every challenge they come across, usually a solution exists. This style of thinking can boost the quality of their relationships and be an essential tool they use in the future workplace. 

Sources 

Why Adolescents Fight: A Qualitative Study of Youth Perspectives on Fighting and Its Prevention. National Library of Medicine. 

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